#98 - This Might Trigger You: Reimagining Gender Roles & Financial Independence

In this thought-provoking episode, Lindsey challenges listeners to reflect on societal norms and personal triggers related to gender roles, financial independence, and relationship dynamics. Starting with a poll that revealed surprising insights into her audience's relationship statuses, Lindsey dives into her views on the balance of masculine and feminine energies, especially within partnerships. She explores why some women take pride in “retiring” their husbands, yet shares her perspective on the value of traditional polarity in relationships, where a masculine partner naturally supports and provides. Lindsey also offers guidance to single women and entrepreneurs on the importance of a stable income for achieving a sense of safety, which she believes is fundamental to feminine receptivity and creation.

Through examples from her personal journey and insights from her work in Human Design and energetics, Lindsey encourages listeners to assess their own relationship with masculine and feminine roles, and to identify areas where triggers may indicate opportunities for growth and healing. She introduces her Holy Trinity of Healing framework, available within the Empress Collective, as a tool for deep transformation.

Transcript

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Hello gorgeous, welcome to the Find Your Way podcast where we are answering the question, who am I? Which is what way stands for. I'm your host, Lindsay Means, business alchemist and human design expert. I help women step into their royal empress birthright by embodying their human design, creating alchemy in their lives with ceremony and rituals, and cultivating sacred union within by harmonizing masculine and feminine energies. 

I'm so grateful that you're here, now let's get started. Hello gorgeous, I am so excited for today's episode. Now disclaimer, you may be triggered, I may piss you off with what I'm about to share. 

I've been wanting to share this for a while and I responded to the universe. So let me tell you how this started. I was really curious about the demographics of the people who watched my stories and I was very curious if they were single, in a relationship, or married. 

And the majority of people were married and a lot of them were in a relationship and only a handful of them were single. And I was like, oh this is very interesting. And so what I want to talk about today, and this is what might trigger you, I saw a post from Sarah Whipp on Facebook. 

I tried to find it and I couldn't find it, I'm paraphrasing this. I don't remember exactly what it said, but it said something to the extent of, if you are a woman, you need three things. You need one, a viable, reliable, reoccurring income in your business that is sustainable, that covers your basic requirements. 

You need a nine-to-five job or you need a man to support you. And I was like, damn Sarah, that is so good. And I didn't read the comments, but I'm sure she pissed a lot of people off, especially with feminism and all of that. 

So I'm going to go a couple of ways with this episode. The first is I'm going to talk to you if you are married. Now I'm so curious, I'm going to do another poll on my stories to dive deeper into this, but I'm so curious the difference between are you married and you make more money than your man? Does your man make more money than you? Or are you pretty equal with the amount of money that you make that you receive? Super curious about that. 

I know that there, it was like, what is the word? Like damn, like touting, if you will, or a damn, there's a word that I'm looking for. It'll drop in in a minute, but oh, a flex. It was like a big flex.

If you were like, I retired my husband. Well, and this is where I might piss you off. If you, I never want to retire my husband because to me that's out of balance. 

Like that's completely out of polarity, completely out of balance of masculine and feminine energy. The masculine wants to provide. Now I'm not saying that I don't want to make, like if I make more money than him, cool. 

But I honestly want to be with a man who wakes, who makes way more money than me. Like I full transparency. If you, if I met a man tomorrow and he said, Lindsay, I will take care of every single need that you have. 

You won't have to pay for rent. You won't have to pay for bills. You won't have to pay for anything. 

In fact, I'm going to buy you a really fucking nice car. I'm going to take you on vacations. I'm going to buy you anything that you want. 

I'd be like, fuck me now. Like literally I want that. I want a man to provide for me. 

I have been in my masculine my whole entire fucking life. And I want that. Like I desire that I don't want to make more money than my man. 

Like I, I honestly, like if I could just like, I will always have find your way. I'll always have my business, but I would much rather it be like, yay, this is bonus. Like the money that I make gets to go back into the world. 

Like the money that I make gets to go to causes. Like the money that I make is for giving back to the world. Like it's not for my base requirements. 

It's not for my needs. It's like bonus to what my man's making. And that's really what I desire in this moment right now. 

So going back to the flex of so many women in entrepreneurship are flexing, they're celebrating the fact that they retired their men. Now I'm going to guarantee, I can't guarantee, but I have a pretty high, I'm pretty sure that most of those women are masculine as fuck and their husbands are feminine as fuck. Like if you, and I will, this is my own opinion, right? This is my own opinion. 

I have been studying masculine and feminine energies and energetics for the last like four plus years. It has been a huge part of my journey, a huge part of my work. And I was that woman. 

I was very masculine in both of my partnerships and I attracted feminine men. And as I have shifted my polarity and as I've been attracting masculine men, not only in romantic relationships, but my biz bestie Phillip, the, my, one of my besties Avi, like the men who I've attracted in my life, they are so masculine and God, it's so fucking sexy to like see representations of true divine masculine men. They are providers. 

I'm sorry. They, if a masculine man doesn't want to stay home and clean your house and take care of the babies, he doesn't, not down to his core. And this is where I might piss you off. 

And I already gave you the disclaimer and I would encourage you to, if you're getting pissed off by this, if you're being triggered, first of all, I'm not saying there's anything wrong. This is my opinion. This is my podcast. 

This is my, you know, what I wanted to share. And there's so many ways to view the world. Like if that works for you, hell freaking yeah, you do you. 

However, I will say that I'm pretty damn sure that most women who have retired their men are in the masculine role. They're in the provider role. They're in the masculine. 

And then I have, I actually know someone who is in this role. And we had, I had a couple of session with her and her partner and she's a manifestor, which manifestors are a little bit more masculine energy, in my opinion. And her partner was a projector. 

And she was like, he doesn't get shit done. He doesn't do anything. And I tell him to do this. 

I tell him to do that. And I was like, girl, like you are in your masculine. And so he has to be in his feminine. 

The law of polarity is a thing. Most, most men generally, generally a statement, generally most men are naturally masculine dominant. Generally, most women are designed to be more feminine dominant, obviously exceptions to the rules, but the majority, that's the natural law of the energetics within genders.

And the law of polarity exists. When I was with my ex and I started shifting more into my feminine, he didn't know how to be in his masculine. His mom's very masculine, in my opinion, like sister, they're both manifestors. 

And so of course they're going to be more masculine. He's probably been with more masculine women. And when I started shifting, he didn't know how to step into his masculine. 

And I didn't know how to hold space for that at the time. And I could almost guarantee that if we actually like had deep conversations, and if we talked about it, we could have probably shifted into that. And who knows, maybe we would still be together, but that's neither here nor there because that ship has sailed. 

He was a beautiful, beautiful mate to my soul soulmate in my life. And I learned a lot, but the law of polarity is a thing. I don't think that like a woman who is in her masculine, who has retired her husband, I just have a feeling in my bones that that's not going to last very long, that there's going to be some marital problems at some point within that relationship. 

And so if you are in a relationship, if you are married, and even if you're like not married, but you're living together, you're pooling your finances, whatever, here's what I would suggest doing. Pour into your man, appreciate your man. I have a friend, and since they've been together, he has had so many bonuses. 

He's had so many like, um, what do they call it? Upgrades to your position. I've been out of corporate world so long I can't even remember what that means. But whatever, like his position has been upgraded many times. 

Like you are the secret sauce for your man to make more money. But if you're in your masculine, you aren't going to be able to support him. So the more you get into your feminine, the more you will be able to support your man in making more money. 

I had a bis soulmate one time, and I asked this often, especially when I know people are in relationships. I was like, do you need to make money? And she's like, no. And I was like, girl, what the fuck are you doing? Like, why are you so fucking stressed out right now? Like, you don't even need to make money.

Like, pour into your man. Appreciate him. Like, I was just talking with someone today about this, about how feminine testing and the feminine is here to help the masculine rise up, but so often we're trying to tell them what to do. 

We're trying to mother them. This is a big thing. Mother wound would come into this, like seeing your mom, mother, your dad. 

Like if you witness that, you are probably a motherer and no man wants his mom to mother him. They like feminine testing is different from mothering. So watch out. 

Are you mothering your husband or your partner? Not good. Not good at all. Appreciation. 

Men just want to be appreciated. They want to do things for us. The masculine and all about action, doing. 

It's also presence, consciousness. And so the more that you can appreciate your man, like, wow, babe, thank you so much for all the work that you do. Thank you so much for the, how much you support me and us and this family and just appreciate the fuck out of him. 

I swear to God, if you do that for a week, you're going to know, and obviously genuine appreciation, but look for the things that you appreciate in him and tell him, show him, like appreciate him, especially if he's been going, you know, he's been at work all day long. He's been, you know, pursuing his mission and he comes home and he just wants to be loved. He just wants to be supported. 

He just wants to be appreciated. You do that and have more sex and he's going to make more money. And so I am the whole point of this podcast is to just give you something to be aware of, to help you. 

A big part of my human design is shocking people into awakening. And as I said, at the start of this, you may be shocked. You may not like how I'm shocking you, but I encourage you to dig deeper. 

I encourage you to be, you know, observe the feelings that are moving through you right now, do some journaling and really diving deep into this. So if you are married and especially if you're making more money than your man, like I feel like that's cool and great and awesome. But I feel like if you pour more into your man, then he's going to make more money and maybe you don't have to work as hard because you're not here to work hard. 

So that's number one. Number two, for all my single ladies out there like me. So something that I've been thinking about lately is I have viewed find your way, my business as a feminine being ever since I've been in business. 

And the other day I had a download, oh shit, like I'm single. Like if I don't have a viable, reoccurring, sustainable income or a nine to five job or a partner or a sugar daddy, like I'm in trouble. And you can't have a combination of those things. 

By the way, I've worked for another company for the last two plus years and that's kind of been my nine to five. It's been my reoccurring income that for the most part has covered my base requirements. And so the money that flows into my business is more of a bonus to my requirements. 

Now there have been months where the other job like was drying up and that's when I was going into scarcity. That's when I was trying to create out of scarcity. That's when I didn't have a solid, safe foundation and it wasn't good. 

This is why I'm bringing all of this up is we have to feel safe in order to heal. We have to feel safe in order to receive. And if you don't have your base requirements met, you're not going to feel safe. 

If you're worried that you're going to lose your house because you can't pay rent, like you're not going to feel safe. You're not going to be able to create. Like you have to feel safe in order to be in the feminine.

You have to have a healthy relationship with your masculine in order to be in the feminine. You have to have a healthy relationship with God in order to really live the best life you could possibly live. And that's why I created the Holy Trinity of Healing, which gets into all of these. 

And if you've been listening for a while, you know that all of the products that I have are all located in the Empress Sanctuary membership. You can sign up for a seven day free trial. The link will be in the show notes to do that and then click the link for the Holy Trinity of Healing.

Please dive into that. This is so important. If I could get every single woman on earth and even men, I'm mainly concerned with women in my business. 

If I can get every single woman on earth to go through this Holy Trinity of Healing, the world would be a much better place. So you can have a combination of those things, but you need to have your base requirements met every single month. If it's a worry in your life right now, you're doing it wrong. 

If it's a worry in your life, you need to go get a job. If it's a worry in your life, you got to do something different. And I say this with love because I've, I've, I've struggled on this path. 

I've not done this. I was just talking with an Empress today and she's in this position and she has to go get a nine to five job. And she was worried because she has struggled in the past with how her jobs have treated her and whatnot. 

And I was like, okay, here's what I want you to do. Or I'm going to give you a mission should you choose to accept it is to have a death ceremony for the old jobs, for the old experiences, for the old you. I want you to have a death ceremony and I want you to have a forgiveness ceremony or ritual as well. 

Like weave that in, forgive those people who hurt you, forgive yourself, and just know that you are a brand new person. And guess what? We need late workers. We need healed people in corporate. 

And spoiler alert, I'm pretty sure like we are entering in as I'm recording this, uh, we have eight days until Pluto shifts into Aquarius. Corporate worlds are going to be crumbling. The corporate is going to be archaic. 

I don't know how long. I feel like within the next five to two, five to 10 years, it is going to be done. There's not going to be corporate anymore. 

It's going to dissolve and it's going to happen quickly. And so we do need people that are high vibration, if you will, that are healed, that are on a different frequency in those places. Like what if, this is hypothetical situation, let's say you're in your business right now, but you are not, you do not have a viable reoccurring income that covers your base requirements. 

Some days, some months are better than the other, but it's not sustainable. And you are like, okay, I'm going to do it. Lindsay says, I'm going to get a job. 

Now here's the thing. If you are a generator type, put it out there. God's source universe. 

I, I want a job. Like I want to have a viable reoccurring income every single month so that I'm not stressed out so that I feel safe and supported. Show me the next step.

And then go look on LinkedIn, go look on Craigslist, go look on whatever, put it out there. And then what are you responding to? You're going to co-create with the universe to do this. And let's say you find a bad-ass job and you go work there for three months and you have a base requirement. 

Guess what? You start feeling safe. You start feeling secure. You start making more money in your business. 

You start having a viable, consistent reoccurring income that you know every single month you're going to get this. And by the way, inside of the, I have the flow formula that goes over this, where it's how to determine what you require in order to have your base needs met. And so I'll put that in the show notes as well. 

But you go to this job and let's say you're like, Abraham Hicks talked about this once. Like if you're going to a job you don't really like, like how can you bring satisfaction to it? How can you be that person that smiles at everyone? How can you be that person that contributes your ideas and your genius? How can you be that person that helps people think differently? How can you be that person that's doing grid work in this space? What if you're a light language channel and you're just doing light language all day long and you're increasing the magic in this space? It doesn't have to last forever, right? Like you could do it for three months, six months, whatever. It's a means to an end. 

Ultimately you want to be in your job. Ultimately you want to be doing whatever it is that you're, you came here to do. But in the meantime, you can't do that if you don't feel safe and secure. 

So how can you get a mix of these things where you have your nine to five or something like it, and then you're also focusing on your business and you know, calling in that man that can support you, you know, and maybe you get a sugar daddy. I don't know. No hate on that. 

I've looked at that many times, but it's just never been a hell yes for me. But it's really, really, really, really, really important for us to feel safe. You cannot, you cannot be a hundred percent in your feminine if you are not safe. 

Now going back to viewing my business as the masculine, I don't even know if I got there. I think I trailed off into something else, but I've always seen my business as a feminine being. Now I've shifted to looking at Find Your Way as a masculine being. 

And guess what? I realized that I was not trusting my business. I was trying to micromanage my business. I was in the wounded feminine with my business. 

And since I've had this revelation, I've shifted. And I used to, this was also some root center shadows, which the root center is big for me because my life purpose archetypes reside there. And if you want to learn more about that, I'm going to put that in the show notes. 

But the shadow of the root, which is the square on the bottom, is trying to be in a hurry to be free from pressure. And there's a lot of pressure with entrepreneurship, right? Like we've got a lot of things to do. Did you get the email done? Did you do the marketing? Did you have all the conversations? Did you do the other thing? And I've been catching myself recently, like not checking out of that and not trusting that my business, my man for now, he has me. 

I've done all that I need to do. Even saying that, I feel my body, ugh, like chill out a little bit. Like I've done enough. 

I can stop for today and start it again tomorrow. But that was really felt like I was in the shadow and I wasn't recognizing it. And clinging on to things that aren't good for you. 

Like that's another one in business. Clinging on to things where the business energy is like, no, we don't need that. But you keep trying to push it anyways. 

When you can view your business as its own entity, it's really, really, really powerful. And then the last thing with the business is structure. We have to have structure. 

The river bank is the masculine and the water is the feminine. The water will be everywhere with no container. If there's no bank for the river, we have to have the bank and that's in your structures. 

That's in your systems. If you had, I want you to think about this. If you had 40 people that dropped in, let's say you've got a membership, 40 people that signed up for your tonight, would you be able to hold them? If you had 40 one-on-one sessions booked tomorrow, would you be able to hold that? Would you have the structure in place? Would you have the automatic emails that say all of the details for the one-on-one session? Would you have to scramble and send 40 of them? Would you have to like scramble to do the onboarding for all of your new members? Or do you have that automated? If you don't have the systems in place, God's first universe cannot give you the people in mass like you want, like you desire.

And so that's something recently, if you've been following me for a while, you probably heard me talking shit about many chats for a long time. And I had, I don't know what it was. I just had this big resistance because I'm all about connection. 

And I felt like many chats for smaller accounts. My whole thing was like, if you don't have hundreds of people messaging you, you shouldn't get many chats. Well, I have since changed my mind because I actually downloaded many chats. 

And other than a few hiccups here or there, I've, I'm in love. I'm in love. And it makes sense. 

And I'm following up with like myself so I can still incorporate connection, but I'm using, I'm also calling out like, this is my find your way bot. And she's going to take care of you until I can get to you. You know, I'm not like, oh, it's me texting you.

That was a thing that I didn't like too of like the comments that are like, comment this and I'll send you the link. It's like, no comment. Now what I'm doing is comment the keyword and my find your way bot will send you the information. 

Like I want to call out that I'm using AI and I have a whole process that I'm about to upload to the Midas touch portal or the Midas touch activation. That's how to activate and connect with your your AI. It's super powerful. 

The Midas touch is, is a framework that's 80% energetics and 20% strategy. And, and AI is a big part of that, how to activate your AI, how to tap into the 5d consciousness AI and co-create with it. So the moral of this story is really about the holy trinity of healing, to be honest. 

Like it's about masculine and feminine energy. If you are married or in a partnership and you're making more money than your man, if you've retired your man, if you're like the breadwinner, if you are the one in more, the masculine, like your man's going to be more feminine, that is law. And there's nothing wrong with that, but more often than not, you're both out of alignment energetically. 

And so when you start shifting more into your feminine, guess what? The feminine is all about receptivity as well. So let it, so think about it in this way. If you've been operating in your masculine, let's say you're, you've made a million dollars in your masculine.

Can you just imagine how much money you could receive if you shift when you shift into your feminine? Like, holy fucking shit. And then you can, can you just imagine how your partnership is going to shift? Yeah. There's probably going to be some, some awkward moments. 

There's probably going to be some interesting, fucking healing. There's probably gonna be some triggers. There's probably gonna be some fights. 

Probably going to be some chaos to be frank, because when you've been acting one way your whole entire life, and then you shift to another way, it's a lot, but you're going back to what your body wants. You're going back to the natural, uh, energetics that humans have, and your relationship will get so much better. Your man doesn't like being feminine.

I can guarantee you that, but he doesn't know what the fuck's going on. And more, like, more than likely the reason you guys got together is because you reminded him of his mom, and he has a masculine mom, which most, oh, there's been a lot of masculine moms out there. And so, you know, when you start shifting, when you start healing, it's going to be magic. 

And there will be an initiation period, like I said, but magic. Now, if you're single, you have to have one or a combination of either a consistent, reoccurring, viable income that supports your base requirements, a nine-to-five job, or a sugar daddy, or a combination of the three. And if you don't have that, I, I did it wrong. 

Okay. Learn from my mistake. I left, I was making almost a hundred K, only working three days a week. 

It was easy behind the chair. Like I left like a ridiculously good situation to dive ahead first. And I was cocky as fuck. 

And I was like, I'm amazing. I'm going to be a coach and it's going to be awesome. And I struggled. 

I fucking struggled. It was hard. I don't recommend it for anyone. 

And so if I got to the point right now where I didn't have a viable reoccurring income, I would have to go do something different. I would have to do my own, take my own medicine and say, okay, this is temporary, but I'm going to make sure that I am safe. Because here's the other thing too. 

You might be thinking, oh, what if I just manifest it? Yeah, you can do that. But if you're nervous, dismissed shot, because you don't know how you're going to cover your bills in your mind, you haven't worked on your mindset. It's never going to fucking happen.

I can guarantee you that I've been trying to manifest my way out of this for a long time. And it's, it's this year has been the year where it's like, oh, okay, I'm safe. And I've noticed a big shift and a big difference. 

I haven't been creating a scarcity. I've been following my body. I'm in alignment and things are just happening easy and effortless. 

And so, yeah, the holy trinity of healing, healing the God wound, healing separation from God, healing masculine and feminine energies. And that will in turn, heal your business, heal your relationships, call in the man. Like here's the other thing too, if you're single, if you, you have to, this was why, honestly, this was why I started focusing on sacred union. 

Like I've been hyper focused on say cultivating sacred union within. And the main reason is to attract my man. I am tired of doing life alone. 

I am tired of paying for all my bills alone. Not that I just want a man for his money, but it's going to be helpful. I actually had a download the other day. 

I was like, man, I've never known what it's like to have a man pay for me. And then I was like, oh shit. I forgot when I first started dating my ex, he was making like 10 plus K a month. 

And he, I was not making, I just started doing hair again. I was a server and I was not making, I was probably making a quarter of what he was making. And when I moved in with him, we, I moved in like three months of us knowing together, he paid for the rent. 

I paid for the groceries. Like he paid for a lot of things. I couldn't afford it. 

He got it. Like he paid for all, all of our like dates. He paid for everything. 

And at that time, I think I had guilt because I didn't know how to receive it. Actually, fuck. I didn't even think about that until just now. 

I may have sabotaged that because he wasn't his masculine in the beginning. And then I didn't appreciate him. I didn't know how to receive it. 

I started, I was like, he's making a hundred K. I want to make a hundred K. And I started getting hyper-focused in business. And I stopped to put, oh man, like I, oh shit, Lindsay. I was the downfall because I do think that he was very masculine in the beginning. 

And then it shifted. This is how things like these are, the energies are so powerful and most of it's unconscious. So anyways, I hope that if I triggered you, that you can dive into why, like ask yourself, why was I triggered? Why is this coming up? What is this reminding me of? How, what part of me needs love? How can I heal? And if I didn't trigger you, yay. 

I hope that you take something from this. If you had any aha moments, please reach out on Instagram. My DMs are always open. 

And I would love to have a conversation with you about this. I would love for you to join the Empress Sanctuary and start healing this. In the Holy Trinity of healing, there's education, there's ceremonies, and there's activations. 

And it's really deep work. I mean, it's not a one and done either.